Hi tablarosa,

I am so sorry to hear about your son's illness. That alone would be a very difficult situation to deal with. Anything above and beyond that, I can't comprehend how you deal with day to day.

As for your poor kitty and your husband's lack of concern about your feelings, perhaps he is feeling overwhelmed too, but not admitting it because "he's a man and can handle it?" It does sound like he is not dealing with you, or anything, in a loving or constructive way.

But maybe your feelings about the potential loss of your cat could be an openning for communication between yourself and your husband. You can ask for what you need from him. Acknowledge that he may not have any deep feelings for the cat - his feelings, or lack of them have to be validated. But let him know that you do have feelings about kitty and you need him to show some concern about YOU and YOUR FEELINGS concerning your kitty's death.

You can't expect him to cry or pretend to care about the cat if he does not. But he is your husband so you should be able to assume he does care about you. Tell him how you feel, that you would like him to at least care about your feelings of sadness, or what ever, over having to put your kitty to sleep. Just because we sometimes have to ask our loved ones to give us what we need does not make that a negative or bad thing. There's nothing wrong with asking for what you need. And it could be the start of a better relationship as you open up about your honest feelings.