I guess the title of my thread says it all.

Sometimes I think, this CAN NOT be happening for real. It just CAN'T. And I tell T that I am sure it's just PTSD or whatever.

Other times, I know it's real and it scares me and confuses me.

Sometimes when I am very accepting and stop fighting it and let a younger part talk to T or whatever, I have a time of feeling peaceful for a while and everything seems to settle down. And then the next trigger comes along, and it's like, here we go again.

I hate it. I don't WANT it, AT ALL. I wish there were some way to just make it go away I need it to go away. I just want to be "me", whoever that is.

ouch, it hurts and it sucks.