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For some time I have struggled with my DID, not wanting to believe it was so, not wanting to think that things happened to me...but they did...and for some reason, things have all gone to hell in a handbasket, and are getting worse. I can no longer take the pain, the injustice, the fear, the absolute dread every time something else comes up. I don't know what else to do that hasn't already been done. I guess giving up, or giving in, is inevitable. Today I had the distinct impression that one day I will end up in the end of a psycho ward, uncared for, unloved, unable to ever see the light of day again. I don't know how to combat that fear at all. I don't ever want to be alone again. It will kill me, if I let it. But I don't know how to ask for, or even allow, help to come. I have such a tight hold on reality right now that I am afraid if I let go for one second, I will slide that slippery slope and descend into the abyss that seems to get closer and closer every minute. What do I do? Where do I go? HELP me PLEASE. I don't know what else I can do.
Yahna, the main Jewel
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True love exists when we lose ourselves to invest in the care of others.
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