I am really sorry for your heartache. Sometimes those emotions bust right through when they need to be seen and heard.
I hope you are finding ways to be kind and gentle with you.

Yes, I will say go to T. It's important to go no matter what. This is another way for T to get to know you.
The way I can do that at times like this is to go and say right off, I am here but I did not want to come today. Of course, I usually post here and say I don't want to go first...