Quote:
Originally Posted by bonaire
You kind of need to get to the intimate come-to-Jesus discussion with him and ask him "what's going on..."
In other threads, we have discussed affairs and other things along with the healing that is possible. However, maybe nothing did happen. If it's truly a friend and not something, ask who she is and if you could talk to her. Nothing wrong with talking to a friend. If he protects her to the point of not allowing that, then maybe something did happen.
I'll admit - I've had an affair, been through everything from counciling to separation to reconciliation and then a few years have gone by since. It's not easy now - nothing like it was before the affair. So, do your best to try to find out what happened, if anything, and if it did, you're best bet is marriage counseling before doing anything else.
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There's an old saying... the Come-to-Jesus talk basically means, this is the big one, we're talking, you're answering, and if not, were done (in this case). I have only ever heard it used in work situations, but, it fits.
I can't say one way or the other what your husband has done, but, as Bonaire, I too have been through some things. We never separated, but for about a year after, things were a lot different. Now, 5 years later, everything is fine (in respect to me cheating/not cheating, and our relationship is that as of before the "event"). She knows why I did what I did, and also that I would never do it again. They key to all this was communication, as always.
Like Bon says, have the talk. I strongly recommend if something did happen, don't go off the deep end and just give up. If you need, get counseling, but get to the root. If he's willing to stop, and loves you, just..."something is/was missing" (I know what that means, I may not be clear?), you can work through it.
I hope all goes for the best and it's only a friendship, and he just didn't want to make you upset.
GL and God bless!