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jewels, i am sorry it is so bad right now. i recognize what you are saying and i have felt that way. it has taken me a long time to get to the place where i can accept help and trust my T and trust me. i've had so much betrayal and abuse. i have had some trips to the hospital and they were scary but they taught me some things also.
it is not going to be all doom and gloom, it is hard i know, but it will get better - sometimes it is about time. i had little support from my spouse and in trying to "perform" for his dubious approval i slowed my healing down badly. i've been trying to deal with this for 14 years and it would not have taken so long but for his opposition, my fear and reluctance to deal and my T learned how to help DID's starting with me (lucky her =).
i know you all have a lot of fear. i am sorry. i wish i had something more to give you, but you have made it to now, you made it through a hellish childhood and you are still here. give yourself some credit and kindness. please. hugs if you want them!
leslie and all
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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