earthmama I feel the same so much of the time, my heart goes out to you.

Somehow this crept up on me too.. it was depression no, it was PTSD no.. its something else. I'd like it to have been something else because then "any" therapist could have helped me and I wouldn't have had to seek out a specialist and feel like a total freak.

But look - here are others who are similar if not the same, and they are all intelligent ,amazing people whose brains intervened to protect them from the craziness of their childhood so that now, as adults, we can work to put it back the way it should have been and finally have a chance to heal.

Well, that's what I keep telling myself. But I'm still half in denial and half in hiding from it all.

Big big hugs to you.