madisgram,

I hope you don't mind if I just add that it is possible to record over those old psyche tapes.

As in your case, for instance, standing in front of a mirror today and, while thinking about that event, say to yourself - or out loud - "HOGWASH!!" Then smile and forgive yourself for allowing that old recorded message to interfere with your life for as long as it did.

You may feel like an idiot talking to yourself in the mirror but it is very healing I promise.