She should definitely see a counselor to work through some of this. I am a victim of sexual abuse. I didn't really talk a whole lot about it in counseling, but my bf was very gentle and patient with me. There were times where we would be intimate and I would burst into a fit of tears. He was scared, I was scared, and our intimacy suffered for it somewhat. We supplemented with things like cuddling and petting or massaging. It was a way for us to be close without being too vulnerable, without opening up a can of worms so to speak.

Over time things got easier. He talked with me about things and just heard me out. Always told me it wasn't my fault. He always reassured me that I was beautiful - the most beautiful and that there was nothing I could do to take that belief away. It didn't help that he had the same name as the perp. I'm sure if we had had more problems and if we should ever have problems with intimacy in the future we would go to a sex therapist - they are experienced with these sorts of things (as well as others... they help coach people through any psychological things that may be disrupting ability to orgasm or to achieve erection or arousal, etc etc.).

Dry spells are normal in any relationship though. Stress plays a big role in all areas of our lives. When I have more work to do, sometimes I'm just not in the mood or I'm too tired for any serious intimacy.

I would say do your best to be patient and supportive and seek professional help (for the both of you). You will need help too processing this information and you will need support to support your lover.

Hope this helps. Good luck with everything