Thanks for the responses so far, everyone.

I'm inquiring because I live with my boyfriend, who is divorced and has two sons, one of whom is 19 and lives with us full-time. My boyfriend has been having some major problems with this young man's behavior. He's very disrespectful and inconsiderate of everyone around him. Being "just" his dad's girlfriend, I have no say as to what he does, so I never discipline him. But his behavior is causing a lot of stress between my boyfriend and I.

Basically this young man doesn't work and doesn't attend college full-time (he is taking one class at the community college). He has no regular chores and does not pay rent. He buys groceries for himself only, and when he prepares meals he leaves the mess for someone else to clean up. It's useless to tell him to do his dishes because he won't even wash them properly. I usually have to re-wash them because there's still food on the utensils. He does nothing to contribute to the household. All he does is trash it, lose other people's property and then lie about it, and just turn the place upside down. Only very recently did he actually get punished for his behavior (I've lived with my boyfriend for over six months and it's been an issue since before I moved in). I'm appalled that he has gotten away with as much as he has and don't have a lot of faith in the method my boyfriend is using to try to get his point across. His son is so apathetic even a punishment won't really do much good after awhile. He'll just revert to his old ways again. I have seen it happen before.

I lived with my parents for a few years after moving back from another state and I paid rent, helped with groceries, and split chores with my two younger brothers. Cleaning up after myself went without saying.

I know every family is different. I am having a really hard time with the way my boyfriend is handling things, or rather, not handling them. I have contemplated moving out, but my boyfriend insists that "things will change", I just need to be patient. I'm not sure how long I'm supposed to wait for things to get better. Maybe I am just impatient and unreasonable?