dbs, i'm curious why do u "hate your life" and feel so "bitter"?, using your post to quote u. 
i get the impression u still live at home and are younger than some of us. u have your whole life ahead of you. it saddens me to read how distraught you are.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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