((((((((Chaotic))))))))

You know, I find that when I am talking about what I have experienced I am incredibly vague. Maybe it is because what I see in my mind cannot be acurately expressed in words, maybe it is my sense of shame, maybe it is that I think no-one will ever understand and I think I make a big deal out of everything....

When my T has checked out with me what she has heard and I have compared that to what my memory is there is a huge descrepancy. It is just hard to be explicit about the details, even admit that anything happened in the first place.

I guess I just wanted you to know you are not alone.