Oh Mouse,

On the way home from work today I found myself thinking of T (surprise, surprise!). And then I found myself convincing myself that the thoughts are not all-consuming like they used to be and how good I was doing that I haven't called at all this week--and last week when I called I told him I didn't need a return call, just needed to "get something out." So I was patting myself on the back when all of a sudden a deep ache from way way way inside of me welled up and I felt my eyes stinging with tears. I missed him so so much and just felt so bad and sad that he will never hug me and the limitations of the relationship made me feel cheated and gypped. Clearly I believe that not reaching out is to be rewarded.

Thanks to you too for the thread!