I'm needy. sorry. just need to talk about this. I'm a bit scared.
I still don't feel a real person.
Desperate ache inside for love and approval.
Sad.
Alone.
I have no close friends.
So desperate for communication I do it online.
Running up a huge phone bill.
Just rambling.
Felt more secure after therapy. Cried loads when I got home. (was that why both my flatmates then went out?)

Just want to sleep and be comforted and held.

I feel like a 2 year old, or maybe 9. Or maybe both.

Grieving so much for what I never had when I was a child and can not have in that form now.
And the way it has left me.
It is safe here. Noone is judging me or telling me I'm weird and a freak and laughing at me.

I HAVE eaten today---and will take a Zopiclone tonight and hope that sleep brings some healing.

Its so painful, I don't want to numb it away, but its frightening being alone with it.

sorrel