Stay alive for you and your kids. I have been kicking around a long time and I fight all the time to find the energy, the motivation, and the reason to keep going. No one can dictate your worth to you, you have to find just one thing, even if very small that gives you happiness, saticfaction, or at least reduces the pain. Focus on that, then look for another. You will find more and more. It will be hard, it will be a total effort, it will have regressions. Just find the one thing and build again