((((((((((((((((((((((Mouse)))))))))))))))))))))

Yes, reaching out and asking for help have always been BIG GIANT HUGE "NO"s for me. I was trained very well to keep things to myself, to rely on myself, to not ask for help, to deny my needs, and certainly not to expect that if I did have a need that it would be met.

I'm in AA and that has been my biggest challenge - we're supposed to call people when we need help. Uhhh.....no thanks! I am SO bad at that, and even though intellectually I know it's crazy, I just can NOT do it.

T is teaching me that reaching out is okay. I can reach out whenever I want...if I ask for a call or e-mail back, I'll get one, if I don't, I won't. That works for me, because I feel like I can just e-mail or leave a voice mail and it's not that big of a deal for him to listen to them. He has said MANY times that my needs are easy to meet, which has given me confidence to ask to have them met.

I do go through what you were talking about Miss C - thinking that somehow I'm being "good" if I don't reach out for a long time, but really, I think I'm just denying myself something I need. That's not "good" - we were just raised to think that way.

I haven't quite managed to transfer the ability to reach out that I've learned in T to other areas of my life....well, except maybe with H, actually...and here at PC!....but I hope I will someday.