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I'm not good at the warm-and-fuzzy approach and being sensitive to emotions, so I'm just operating from a pure logic standpoint today:
Your first paragraph is all about problems you're experiencing with the therapy-- what you're talking about is very common; it's not unique to you and your T. It isn't even about problems with her--it's about your processing of things. You can only tell us so much, but what I hear from you are standard therapy patient concerns but that you two haven't processed adequately yet. It sounds like you've told us more about it than her.
Second, your approach to taking a break wasn't good: It should be done personally with a T in session where the issues can be addressed, but it's not like your approach isn't seen by T's all the time. The issue isn't taking a break; the issues(s) are the things you talked about in your first paragraph.
Maybe she didn't get your voice message. Do you know? That's a problem with indirect means of communication. If you did it personally--in person or phone conversation, you'd know what she heard from you.
Whatever you wrote here, maybe your message sounded hostile, aggrieved, maybe it sounded accusatory or condemning her. Maybe it sounded like an out and out termination. You don't know what she took in.
T's get patients who just drop out of sight never to be heard from again. Maybe she didn't get your message and thought your failure to show meant you just washed your hands of it.
On the money, maybe she or someone working with her inadvertently send you the wrong amount. Or any message at all. If she sent it intending that amount, maybe she forgot about giving you a break and sent that wrong amount instead.
You're trying to do a lot of mind reading with her.
The main source of your problems from your message to her forward is that you didn't use a good approach in communicating with her. Now you don't know what's going on with her and she probably doesn't understand what’s going on with you. The money thing probably is not her going back on her word.
I disagree with the suggestion about sending her a check first. I'd say contact her asap to talk--not voice message--about the overall stuff and not focus on the money. The money is secondary to your therapy relationship. Get a new session with her and get at the therapy relationship. In that session--not beforehand and not at the start of the sesssion, bring up the money. Don’t seem defensive or offensive about the money--maybe it was an error. Even if you don't continue doing therapy with her, a final session is needed for you to make sure you're on the same page—maybe there’s been major miscommunication. It also will be easier to address the money issue in context of your therapy relationship overall--it will be easier for her to recall the past discussion you had about it in person and in context.
Sorry, no emotional help here today. I'm in Mr. Spock mode presently in my own life.
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out of my mind, left behind
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