Yeah. I got kinda angry about it at first, because I was sure they were going to try and brainwash me or something. But my CPN says otherwise, so..we'll see

What do you mean by 'someone is making me think this'??
Sometimes I think there is some kind of Puppetear playing things out for me, Some kind of God. But I don't think he controls what I think, just situations around me, so I blame him for most things.
I got really upset recently when I'd been really thinking about why I could see things others couldn't, and concluded that I must be some kind of ghost-not quite dead, but not alive either. Like I was stuck somewhere, and that's why I felt so surreal most of the time.
I wasn't really scared about being this way, it seemed to make sense, but then I started thinking what if I'm real and alive, but noone else is. Like they are just puppets for this God thing to play with.
I don't know how I got on to this track but then I started panicking and was hyperventerlating.
I was sure that nothing was real, it was just an illusion, and I was infact alone. It was scary cause every time I looked at my mum (who was trying to calm me down) I burst out crying again, cause she wasn't really there, and only loved me because thats what the Puppetear told her to do.
I don't think this today, but I still worry about the Puppetear.
I know my mum is real now though.

I'm not quite sure how that last bit was entirely relevant to the conversation,
but it took a while to write so it can stay

Sorry if I sound freakish