i will try hard to summarize. husband and i married 8 years. second marriage no children. best friends. i am very sexual. he has dropped off to absolutely no interest. he wasn't HUGELY sexual when we met but it was still good. dated for 2 years before marriage. one year into marriage and i developed some medical issues. during this time i didn't have a problem with diminshed sex life but again it at least existed.

after medical issues addressed, it slowly got worse. we talked many times. it has dwindled to non existent. i have asked him if he is gay. he denies and in fact becomes somewhat defensive. outside of these discussions he actually seems homophobic. he works construction and the crew he works with would have a field day with it. as well my family is for the most part christian so he is surrounded by unsympathetic people which would be difficult for anyone to even want to come out with that type of revelation.

to be completely honest, i myself would have a hard time with it even if the other problems that come along with it for a married couple were not there. I love him with all my heart and would not turn away from him but gosh it would be tough to live with.

of course now it would be doubly hard because we are married. I have dealt with this for years now and have finally beaten myself down so badly because i was sure he was just not attracted to me anymore that now i realize i need to do something for my own sanity. really what i need before i go further with helping myself is i need to have confirmation from him. i don't know how to approach this properly without upsetting him. i want him to know that if he is gay, i would not hold anything against him as i truly believe it is not some kind of lifestyle change that he decided on but rather just the way he is wired so to speak. i hope i am not offending anyone with my own ignorance.

i would just like some guidance on creating/starting an open and frank discussion with him.

can someone give me some advice here? thank you so much