Chaotic,
My mind did go in different directions lol. Like for one, I had wondered why now after 2 1/2 months of seeing her did she finally ask if I like hugs? I saw my other T for a year and not one time did she ever ask, there were times I certainly wanted one but would never ever tell her. My new T offered and that was huge for me because I wouldn't ask in fear of rejection. But to me hugs are comforting. I can't say I was 100 percent comfortable because this is new for me but it was really nice and I don't think I would refuse one.

My mind did run right to the thoughts of, did she only do this because I showed a really vulnerable side of me, like she was praising me for my hard work. Did she do it because she cares? What if I don't work hard, will I still get that? Yep, my mind ran a bit with it, but it was really nice.

However, I keep telling myself that the hug may not always happen, and I don't want to leave dissapointed if it doesn't, but I imagine it would keep me guessing. I wouldn't mind a hug every session lol. Unless of course its one of those sessions that I am ticked off at her, but I haven't been that yet. She did ask a question once and I said no I don't like that (ever so softy), she said you can tell me that alot louder lol. She was giving me permission to express myself, something I rarely do. I thought that was funny.
Thanks for the cyber hug, here's one right back at you ((((((Chaotic)))))

Jacq10,
Thank you jacq, in reading other people's stories here, it has certainly helped me to push myself a little more in therapy.

Peaches,
Thanks, yeh, thats what I was thinking It's still scary to think of opening up more. For some reason the second day after a session I began spiralling, all these emotions spring up and thoughts like, should I have told her that, its it really ok to talk about this stuff, its talking about it going to make me worse off (because I do spiral after), ect...It's not easy thats for sure.

hangingon