Hun. Ok the good thing is you are havinga thought during your binge. That you don't want to be doing this. The thing is you do deserve to eat. You do deserve to be loved. You are beautiful. But you are equating all of this into food. And that does not work, and that will get you into big trouble. Food cannot fill up what you are filling up what you are lacking in loneliness and how much you need someone to love you. Noone can SEE your pain, by being bulimic noone can read your mind you need to find a better way to coomunicate your needs to ask for what you want. I so understand what you are doing but it makes you cry more, why doesn't anyone care? Why doesn't anyone help me? I'm sick. Tell someone. Ask for love. My guess is you might but when someone gets close to you, you run or push them away. This disease wants you to think it can help you, but it stops working. And that is where you are at. It does nothing. Pretty soon your just a machine, and your not you anymore. And my guess is ther's a whole lot more to you then just food and eat and toss. When that voice says what are you doing. That is your stop sign that is the healthy part of you! Either get a support unit going, syep away get on the computer, or something. But divert yourself. You are beautiful you are deserving.