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Old May 09, 2005, 05:58 PM
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Myzen Myzen is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,034
Hi folks,

I would like to know what people think about those three words - hunting for acceptance. There is so much written in psychology about families and acceptance, and yet it seems so simple. If we didn't bond in our childhood we spend the rest of our lives looking for what we didn't get.

As adults the acceptance hunt becomes complex and carefully disguised, but the feelings are primordial - 'choose me', 'love me', 'don't leave me'. I have had all these feelings and they strike with a visceral power, impossible to ignore.

My understanding is that the only way to defeat the feelings is to live through them and stop playing the 'choose me' game. There is no way that the void can be filled in adulthood that was not filled in childhood, IMHO we just have to accept the loss. That's my take on it anyway. Maybe it's the hardest thing that a person can do, to really accept that level of loss.

Cheers, Myzen