Trying to find the good in my relationship. I am a 25 yr old girl currently pursuing a degree in nursing. My BF is 34 with no kids. I don't know how it works, but we are complete opposites. I am very outgoing, bubbly and love to meet new people. Because of this I have a lot of friends. He on the other hand, does not have 1 friend outside of work. His life revolves around going to work, coming home and watching TV. He likes to isolate and be socially withdrawn, he says that is because of his job (he is a casino host). Which I understood in the beginning, but now I think it is starting to affect our relationship. My wife and I are total opposites as well. But reverse it, I'm the outgoing one, she's the introverted one. Comes home from work and watches TV, doesn't want to go out that much. Yet, she does make an effort to go places because of the kids.

Although I know that he loves me, he is not affectionate at all, nor does he ever compliment me. To make a long story short, he wasn't raised with affection. Both his mother and stepfather are extremely critical and unaffectionate towards each other. His stepfather taught him to never cry or show emotion. Aside from when he is returning an "i love you" (once i have already said it) they only other way for him to express how he feels is when we make love. My wife was brought up in the same situation, as was I, I chose one route, to never let the ones I love feel left out, unloved, not cared for, to give them all the love and cuddles and tell them how proud of them I am all the time, where as my wife is more distant with them, but will give hugs and kisses when she feels. I have only ever had 1 compliment from her, but I understand her, and it doesn't bother me. I on the other hand compliment her a lot, and always get the ppbbtthh (tongue out and all hehe). Doesn't stop me tho. This doesn't mean he doesn't think about you in that way, just that perhaps he can't verbalize it.

THATS WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES. I am always the one to initiate sex. I always have to get him stimulated, and when we have sex it is always the way that he wants it. I don't know what it feels like to be wanted or touched. I cannot tell you how agonizing it is to lay next to someone night after night and not be touched, caressed or fondled. I know what this is like, and yes, it's agony...it really is hard, to have someone you love next to you and that is all, they are just there. It has been like this for about a year. When I brong it up sometimes he agrees with me and things get better but only for a short time. He masturbates everyday to internet pornography, I have caught him on numerous occasions, even in the middle of the night while I am upstairs! I caught my wife no less than three times (she has admitted to doing it more than that) doing this (no internet, just in bed when I wasn't there), twice after, she had left damning evidence and admitted to it, and once striaght up caught her, she tried to lie, but I'm not blind and she finally admitted to it. What I learned from this was she didn't want or need the intimacy of making love, but did need the pleasure. I will explain more, it's not that she didn't/doesn't love me. At the time, she was going through some of her "issues", she needed "sex", but no intimacy, didn't want that closeness at the time. Her needs were not mine. This did cause major problems, until my T helped explain what was up, I get it now, and as frustrating and upsetting as it was, I understand.

I don't even know if this relationship is worth continuing. HE THINKS I AM CRAZY AND HE DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM. Yes, he has a problem...

PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME. I AM IN TEARS AS I m writing this.