I'm tired of myself...my patern...I'm 35 and feel so lonely...so lonely....nobody can even imagine
I don't know what to do....I get attention from guys....and once I start going out, I get too attached and too possesive, and jealous....I want the person just for myself....I want everything goes the way that I want...and if it doesn't I feel so horrible and disappointed....
I can't control my emotions....and I show them very easily....till the person tells me that he doesn't want me around him at all!!!!
just less than two weeks ago...the guy that I was dating, broke up with me...I didn't want to go out with him at the first place, because I was so scared of myself....but he persuaded me and we start going out for two months....but all the time, it was in my mind that this is impossible....because things were going okay and good....I can't control my negetive thoughts...trust me I use all methods...and I'm good for awhile then I break it....
and he told me that he can't make me happy....and he got mad at me....well...he told me lots of hurtful stuff....and I was sad since then...I can't stop thinking about it....hate that....he text messaged me twice....and I didn't answer him...in his last text message, he said he wants to talk and be friends....I can't really....I'm afraid of talking to him and I'm afraid of rejection....I can't handle it....
I don't know how to find a partner....it seems guys are interested in me, but once the relationship starts, I can't hold on to it.....
I'm so tired and confused....please help me....not sure what to do really?
thanks