Tmac,

Good for you for going already. There is no hurry to talk with your T about stuff you can't bring yourself to talk about. The medicine you are taking will help you feel better in a few more weeks or so. It will help you too.

Come here and share with us for support and care. We do care about you. If avoiding is the natural path for you, then start practicing little baby steps toward helping yourself. Going to T. will be rewarding in the long run, even though right now you are very anxious about all of it.

Hang in there, you have people here who do care about what happens to you and we all want to see you grow and have a trusting relationship with your T. I had to imagine therapy as a process. Sort of like peeling an onion, all the old ugly dried up parts, the things you had no control over, are peeled away, to find the good stuff inside, the person you are meant to be, the person you have the right to be. There were times when it was uncomfortable for me. But I so wanted to feel better. So I started writing notes to my therapist. For one, it helped me to stay on topic, on the things that I really wanted to talk about, but it was very hard for me to just start talking about them while in his office.

He once told me I was more honest in my letters than I was in person, in his office. I guess I was afraid he would reject me or feel some negative thing about the "real me" if I actually said what I was feeling out loud to him. But he never did. He really understood me and believed in me and gave me hope that I'd survive all my "junk".

Take your owe time, but try very hard to keep going. You can do it! You've already proven that to yourself. And nothing bad happened, did it?

Take care of yourself this week and I'm glad you are here where you do talk about your issues.