exoticflower, what is the connection between college/career and therapy? It seems like they are linked somehow, but I'm not sure how. It sounds like you are doubting whether you should stay in college/career because it takes your time away from your kids. And you are also doubting therapy because it also detracts from your time with your kids. Could you just do the college/career thing and not therapy? Or just do therapy for now and take a break from college/career? (Maybe not work or go to school fulltime but only halftime?). If you were happy being a stay at home mom, why did you change? (I know finances are hard for many right now, so sometimes we do have to do stuff we wish we didn't have to.)

For me, I was trying to make progress in my life, was very depressed, and so went to therapy. It was helpful at times, but not really that great, so I quit. But yet I was still stuck in my life and couldn't move forward. So after a while I went to another therapist, and he believed I was stuck because of my past, trauma, etc. So we did quite a bit of trauma work, focusing on my childhood. It was painful work, not easy at all, but slowly I did start to make some progress in my present life and inch forward to becoming unstuck. Now, I'm really on the other side, and looking back, it was all helpful. That first therapist I went to was not interested in my past at all--I don't think she knew much about trauma--and so that is probably one reason why the therapy was not helpful. I really don't think I would have come so far with so many of my present problems without working on the past trauma. When I was in the middle of the trauma work, it was all consuming, exhausting, and made me upset a lot. It didn't really seem related to my present situation at all. But T thought it was, and later I came to see that it was, as I began connecting up incidents from my past to my present, and seeing continuing patterns. I became motivated to stop those patterns after I understood them and how they were holding me back and keeping me stuck.

So, yes, I do think therapy is hard and takes time and energy. But I do think it is helpful too, and can be life-changing. Maybe now is not the right time for you to do therapy? Maybe you have enough on your plate with a new career and your kids, and therapy can be something you do later, if you feel you need to?

It's hard to do everything at once. If you are not completely falling apart (like I was), then maybe you can manage without therapy for now.

Only you know what will work best for you. I think this topic would make a great discussion with your therapist.

You also mentioned you have an unethical therapist. Seems like that would tip the balance in favor of stopping therapy with this T?

Yes, everyone has problems, but how you cope with the problems may be just as important. Are you successfully coping with and solving your problems?