Myzen,

Wow, that has been my quest all my adulthood. "Acceptance". As a child I was denied the feelings of acceptance. As an adult, it's a power that at times is so strong a need, that it drives me to deny my own self. Putting myself in relationships that were neglectful, abusive or just empty-- ever needing that "acceptance".

I also, like Jen, did try confronting my mom and was faced with ridicule and invalidation ( my mom is NEVER in the wrong). It took all the inner strength I could muster just to face her and to be shot down was devastating. ( BTW- Jen--- I'm so so happy for you- I think it's great how you've reached out to your mom and she reached back)

Perhaps, there does come a time when one needs to acknowledge the loss and move on-- for some of us-- there is no closure in the way we would like it to be. In this case I believe it's to one's best interest to seek help, be it clergy, therapist or close friend- and learn to love and accept ourselves-- be our own # 1 fan!!!

Don't know about you Myzen, but for me.... it's going to take a lot of help! Confidence and self-esteem are almost non-existent in my being.

I wish you luck with your quests.. and hope you find balance in them!! You're welcome to PM if you need to talk.

Mandy