Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama
I thought about how so many of us on the board don't know if it's okay to reach out, to ask for a call.... I wasn't in crisis, or even upset. Just missing T and needing a little bit of connection.
|
EM, it sounds like you are learning such a valuable thing--how to reach out. Do you find that transferring over to non-therapy relationships too?
I think it is different for all of us and our therapies. My T said at one of our very first meetings that he has very firm boundaries. Part of that is that he doesn't do calls with clients. Therapy is confined to the session. Especially on his weekends (which are 3 days)--he does not check his voicemail or email. He doesn't look at that stuff during his personal time. That is his boundary and I respect it. But during session, I am encouraged to ask for what I need. He often asks me, "what are you needing today?" and that is my chance to reach out and tell him what I need.
Quote:
|
For all of us that fret over these things (me included!) I just wanted to post this as a little bit of hope and reassurance
|
I think it is because of my T's firm boundary that I would fret. If I did need to call him and he didn't call back, I would think it was because I had crossed his boundary, and I would feel bad about that, because I do respect him and wouldn't want him to think otherwise. If he didn't have this boundary and allowed lots of client contact outside of sessions, I don't think I would fret nearly so much. So in a way, for me, it is the boundary that creates the fretting. My solution is to stick to the boundaries and then I needn't fret.