marjan, i read all your posts on this thread before replying. i'm wondering if the place to start overcoming this behavior is within you. if we possess a low self esteem we feel that others will fill up that hole within ourselves. the truth is we need to learn to love ourselves first, realize we are a person of value and worth and then we can have successful relationships with others. have u tried this approach in therapy? if not, i suggest you to talk about how you are feeling about relationships and yourself with your t. then you all can get to the root cause of why you feel you sabotage your relationships with others. i hope this helps. it's just mho, but i could see myself in you when i first started therapy. i was able to change "old tapes" of how i felt about myself and learn to love myself first, to like myself. then i was more successful in having a healthy relationship with others.
hope u will keep us posted. you matter to us and we care about u!