Hi Horsecab and others,
I applaud your efforts in continuing to stay sober. I personally don't drink but I would like to tell about what it's like to have a family member drink. I lost my older brother (61yrs.} last April to alcohol poisonning. He stuggled with alcoholism all of his adult life. I remember when I was 5 waking up in the morning and seeing him passed out on the kitchen floor. I ran back to my room too scared and confused. He tried many times to get sober but ultimately it took his life. He was married and had 1 child and they too were victims of his addiction. I always felt I never really knew him because it made his personality so unpredictable. I'm telling my story hoping that it will make a difference in someones life and give them the strength to slay the battle of addication once and for all. I really wish it was never invented.
In relation to women being the main reason for your drinking, I would say- work on building a strong self esteem within yourself. Know that by yourself,you are a complete person. If you think of yourself as a complete person, it is then you can accept being in a healthy relationship. A woman doesn't make you complete. I wish you the best of luck in your fight.