I have disturbing thoughts and images going through my head frequently.
I imagine people I love being killed in car accidents, getting stabbed while sleeping in bed, falling down a flight of stairs and breaking their neck.
I picture my dog being hacked to pieces with an ax, or my boyfriend's cat being wrung out like a towel and crushed by a pair of huge, bloodstained hands.
When I'm in a restaurant sometimes I look around at the other people dining and picture them suffering a heart attack and falling into their plate of food, or choking to death.
Sometimes when I'm eating I imagine my next bite of food to be filled with worms and beetles. I don't actually see it on the fork, but I picture in my head eating a mouthful of... just disgusting things. At times those thoughts have caused me to completely lose my appetite and on one occasion I actually gagged and thought I would become physically ill.
I get these terrible thoughts stuck in my head and CAN'T get rid of them. It's almost like I'm determined to think of these things.
I feel like a freak