Thanks, all. Kureha, I've been on one med or combination of meds for 31 years. Different ones, new ones. As for the current meds, I've been on all of them before, but not in combination. I've only seen my current shrink twice (although I'd also seen him a long time ago when I was a teenager), two months apart between visits, and I'm going to him because my previous shrink, whom I'd seen for around a year, maybe a little more, retired.

I did leave a message with the receptionist, and I'd told her to tell him to leave a message with a time for me to call him back, or for him to let me know when he'd call me back, so I could plan to be available. (I'd been ill all last week--still suffering some symptoms--and needed to rest, plus I sleep all day normally, anyway, because my OCD situation requires that I be awake to do my rituals late at night, since I need my boyfriend's help with certain things, and he works during the day.) I don't know if she told him, but all he did was leave a message stating his name and that he was returning my call. I'm going to try to reach him again Monday.

As for CBT, while I've done some on my own (from reading and watching documentaries and segments on shows about it), I've never had a professional helping me. I have never once had a psychiatrist or psychologist even bring it up. I've brought it up, but they don't even talk about it. They'll tell me they do behavior modification, but they don't do anything but give me pills. Except for one psychologist, that is--this idiot told me he didn't know anything about it, but to told me to touch a dusty bookshelf, which wouldn't do anything, since the office was dirty to me, anyway, so I was already dirty. There are no professional CBT therapists near me. I rely on my boyfriend for transportation, since I can't ride with anyone else, and certainly not public transportation.

On top of that, until I find a med that gives me some control over the anxiety and stress of my OCD, CBT won't work for me. I am dirty in medical offices (among other buildings/places), so touching things to make me dirty won't change anything. But I'm not saying CBT could help with some things. As I said, I've done a little bit on my own, what I could, and while some things didn't work, some improvements were made.

My life is just ridiculously limited. And I have dreams of a particular career, lifestyle and life in general, and as I'm getting older, I'm also experiencing more physical problems, so I worry that will shorten my time for working and making money, which will make it less likely I'll ever own a home, have the things I want, form new relationships (romantic and otherwise), achieve my goals, etc. I'm really depressed so much of the time.