You are absolutely not a freak. Unfortunately even when we leave home, the depression can follow us, and I'm so sorry about that. Anyone who tells you to enjoy yourself despite the depression may as well be asking you to fly, right? I totally understand that; it's frustrating, but it doesn't make you a freak, it just means they don't understand your position.

If you can keep your distance from your relatives as much as possible, I think that's a good idea. Difficult people are even harder to deal with when we're depressed, huh? Most of my best friends are back in Canada and I go to school in Scotland, and when I miss them and feel alone, I write them letters or postcards and it makes me feel a little less alone/more connected, and helps me remember that they'll still be there when I get back. You don't even have to send the letters, but sometimes it can help to write down the things we can't verbalize for the time being. If you have a camera and feel up to it, maybe you could go out and take pictures of the things that interest you, or that you think might interest people back home. It might be a decent distraction for a little while.

You'll be home soon. Just get through one day at a time, okay? You can do this.