Whoa wi_fighter,

No one should have to put up with what you are going through. He sure is putting mental abuse on you & your kids.....totally unacceptable. Going into mediation with an open mind is necessary, but it is also necessary to know exact details of what you are expecting & to be strong on your stand. (I went through a mediation on the horse suit I filed). You have all the truth on your side I really don't see the necessity of an open mind with someone like him. He seems to be so manipulative & controlling & is probably going into it only with what he expects. So sure of himself that he would never lose. THe is the kind of person you need to put up a good united frount against. If your daughter sees what he is doing to her, that could be good because you understand her, & she will understand you better since you share the same feelings.

It is important for you to go into the mediation very well prepared. I hope you can demand a one-on-one session or as many as it needs to get yourself mentally strong enough to know exactly where you are, any small things you may allow for compromising on (which I hope are few), what you are willing to accept . Seems like this should be only what is good for your kids & we know he isn't interested in them other than a way to keep money away from you & hurt you in any way possible.

I can understand some of what you are going through by having a pasive/agressive husband for so long, the agressive still comes out, but blames me for reacting that way, so everything is my fault no matter what. Also the frustrations of finding someone that can help me being told that either they are too busy, or they don't know how to help, or they think I am just fine because I sound that way....oh the number of excuses I've heard.

I hope you can get all the help that will prepare you thoroughly (no second best type of help) so you can make everyone else see what is best & safe for your kids. Please don't give up even a little. It does take a lot of strength, but I hope there is a real survival instinct inside you to get the help you need & be able to fight (even though mediation isn't supposed to be a fight) this intimidating jerk you are forced to deal with.

I'm behind you 100%,
Debbie