Hi Marjan,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. I would normally mention all the things you've tried - but don't give up because some of the self help methods take a little time to kick in.
I've had my share of bad experiences - father died when I was 2, mom passed when I was 32, brother passed 8 yrs. ago from aids and another brother passed to alcohol poissoning last April. I'm also in a very stressfull marriage at present. You're probably thinking "hey aren't you supposed to be cheering me up". Well I'll get to that in a minute.
I also want to tell you a true story about this awesome woman I saw on Oprah. After giving birth to her second child she developed a flesh eating desease that ravaged her body. To save her life she had both legs, three quarters of her arms removed and had a colonoscopy. She recovered faster than anyone dreamed and zoomed through physiotherapy. When she was asked why she never went through the "poor me" stage she replied " because all I ever wanted to do was go home to my children and husband. Yes the desease ate at her body but she wouldn't let it take her zest for life.
I found her story very inspirational and I hope you will to. It taught me to be grateful for even the simple things (warm place to sleep, good meal, health and warm hugs). try going back to journal writing, emphasizing on gratitude for the simple things. Life is a journey and many times the road is rough. Sometimes I learn the most when I've gone through a bad experience. Don't let man troubles get you down - it just wasn't meant to be. Love yourself and know that you are a complete person without a man. I hope this has helped you in some small way.