I agree with madisgram and was basically told the same thing - being clean and sober means abstaining from all mood altering substances otherwise you're just trading one addiction for another, and are at greater risk of relapse back to your original drug of choice.

I know when I first stopped drinking, I gradually started abusing my prescription Ativan, and was ultimately using it the same way I used alcohol to numb myself out so I wouldn't have to feel. With my pdoc's help I got off the Ativan too.

I know going through life without using anything is really hard, I'm just coming out of a recent relapse, so I'm painfully aware of that fact. But I have to say that despite the emotional ups and downs, and all the **** that I have to deal with now that I'm not drinking, my life is still way better than it was when I was drinking.

It's just me - but for me, being sober means not using anything to change how I feel.

---splitimage