|
Mar 16, 2009, 09:06 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Notzville
Posts: 60,397
|
|
Searchingmysoul,
No, no, no! you have not offended me in the least! You have helped to open my eyes. I apologize for not saying it clearly. I didn't want to say too much then because I was unsure of what I was saying. (I hope that's not too screwed up  )
Your words struck a chord with me. I was finally able to put a "description" to that voice because of your words. I now realize when that verbally abusive adult female fragment is the one I am listening to, that's when I'm allowing me to abuse me. That's why I said "This is every bit as harmful as any physical injury, is it not?" I was asking the question out loud - looking to validate.
You helped me!
notz
Quote:
Originally Posted by searchingmysoul
Thanks again (((((everyone)))))
Yes, I would say I am working through a traumatic history. And working hard at that...A lot of things have been overwhelming to me lately, a lot of change happening in my life...I did this "act" when I was feeling overwhelmed by change and my feelings about it all...
I do want to talk about it...
Yes, I would agree that internal dialogue can be everybit as self injurious as other SI. Notz- I hope that you didn't take me only finding "self talk" when I googled as me minimizing how difficult that is. I struggle with terrible self talk at times and it is horrifying what that voice says...But what I did recently I just couldn't find info for, I didn't really even know what to call it...I am sorry if you were offended by me.
Sannah- I think I was trying to have control in a situation (or multitude of them) where I am feeling out of control right now. I have reflected on what transpired before the "act" and this is what I think it was about. I have tried to resolve this particular trauma in other ways. Doing what I did scared me and now I actually feel retraumatized and confused at myself.
I just want to say thinks again. Processing this out here did help.
|
__________________
notz
|