Have you ever felt the heaviness in your chest that your next breath may not come from the extreme hurt in your heart that you just cannot explain to anyone--but you try so hard with every letter you type to find just the right letters to come together to make some sort of sense so someone can understand what you hold so deep inside. And what is inside does it even belong to you or is it the thoughts of another that echoes inside as you try so hard to hear and catch that breath that the words they are saying slip fast away--yet you know they belong to you.

The breath you try to catch as you are climbing that mountain that you remember inside yet the vision comes and goes with the pounding heart beat and the screaming voice of the child somewhere inside but it is just out of reach. The pressure that you are not the only one looking out of the eyes as you look around and the fear echoes. But somewhere you are there, somewhere--they belong to you.

The depression builds and the loneliness that you feel. And who can understand what you are trying so desperately to say? It is like being caught somewhere where you are falling and with every grasp you fall deeper away, or where you are caught in a storm spinning your wheels to get out but you just go deeper--except inside. And no one can hear--but it belongs to you.

This feeling is scary, it is dark, and it feels as though you are alone. I feel like I am falling inside myself afraid to be seen. Yet, the entrapment engulfs me and I can no longer breath. Tears fill my eyes but whose tears as they come so many times a day. And they fall hard and once again the breath feels it is escaping me,

And I wonder, will this ever end--will this ever stop grasping me in a choke hold. And I wonder will I ever be okay? Will the tears ever stop? Will I ever be able to live? Will I ever be able to breath?

dps