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cfh, please let us know once u contact your t. we care about you and this sounds too serious for you too not call your t. if something was to happen to you, just think how distressed your father would be. he doesn't need stress as you stated and your being reponsible for your own mental health is imperative plus your father will be relieved, not worried as much. take care of yourself and ,imho, this is a warning of harm to come if you don't get help now. we tend to minimize our symtoms often and it sounds like that is what you may be doing.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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