I understand completely and can identify with what you're saying. I'm also on abilify. I know I have done and said things when ill that I have to live with. I've tried to make it up as best as I can but the damage was done. With my meds I can't imagine how I even felt at the time, i'm totally different now (with meds). I've been considering dropping back on my meds but know this is probably a bad idea. I've gained alot of weight on abilify but also take prozac, klonopin, trazodone so maybe they all make you fat. Self consious to the extreme now.
I have the same diagnosis and understand what you are saying. Hope to hear from you again.