It sounds like you are the caretaker of the family. I do think that connecting with T and calling him when you need is good self care. That is so hard when we have parent models who don't take care of themselves. It must be very frightening to see your mother doing what your father did. I think that one of the most frustrating of experiences is when we can see something happening but are powerless to prevent it. You have your hands full, but it does sound like you are managing. I vote for calling T!

(((((((Pinksoil)))))))