I do love weed. I don't think I need to be smoking every damn day like I do, though.
Hell, I love heroin. I just know for a fact that one more taste and I'd be either dead or in a complete relapse.
My problem with sobriety lies in that I ****ing hate being sober. I have an addictive personality and I feel that I'm addicted to being ****ed-up, more so than any substance (other than the heroin, of course). I feel that way because whenever I have a trigger (like last night, when my ex-girlfriend [whom I want back very badly] told me that the "other people" she wants to sleep with are men.) I go for my pipe. If I don't have anything to put in my pipe, I go for my valium. If I don't have valium, I grab a bottle of wine or a glass of hard liquor. It's mainly at night, when I have the most problem staying sober. I have trouble sleeping a lot, so the pot helps me with that at least. If I have an issue that night, then I immediately get baked. Most times when I smoke, I ride on a slight buzz.
I honestly don't mind smoking dope. I like it. I don't intend on stopping that. I intend on cutting back on the frequency I smoke.
What I want to stop is medicating my problems away with the weed and the valiums and booze.