I am the aunt of two nephews who are rapid cycling bi polar. I am truly sorry for the pain you are feeling. It is very scary to look on. I can only imagine how difficult it is to experience. Our family has tried to be supportive of our nephews for more than 10 years now and I can only tell you that your mom and best friend /sister are seeing your life from a perspective of helping you have a life that you can live. Please try to trust them as your illness does make you suspicious. Let them help you to find a way to be OK again. A loving family is a wonderful blessing when the world is wierd. Let them help you.