Manipulating and controlling is not with all narcissists. Usually, they'll have a very high self-esteem, present themselves as being better than you, and not recognizing others' emotions.

But, there are different types and so, if you know someone, could you describe them and that way it could be easier.

What you described before is more of antisocial personality disorder (APD) but could also be with certain types of narcissists.

Generally, if their game is manipulation, the best way to avoid is to either have experienced it many times or to know how to manipulate others. If you don't have experience with either, then generally it will be a too-good-to-be-true event, although this isn't always manipulation, itcould be a genuinely nice person. If their game is manipulation, do not try and play it back. They're far better than you'd be and unless they're really bad, it will get messy.