glad you have taken the courage to give this shot a chance to help you through this difficult time. we're rooting for you and your hopes of getting better.  like micah siad, try not to listen to that voice in your head. not having you here would not be a blessing imho. we care a lot about you!!!  
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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