You have a great understanding of where your issues are coming from. The abuse you suffered as a child, trying to take control of something and trying to get some power back but in effect thinking if you are thin that you will be loved. Those old abusive tapes play and have had a huge impact on you.

You are doing the right thing in having counselling on the child abuse that you suffered, getting to the route of the problem. Eventually you will be able to love yourself for who you are and the way you are.

Hugs.