That's the thing.. I don't see myself as ever loving myself for who I am and the way I am. Because I hate myself so much right now and it just seems like it'll never change..

Costs of the counselling means that I can't go anymore because I just can't afford to travel there and pay for the counselling, along with rent at home and food, plus bills. Sigh. It's all too much and I'm constantly thinking about it, worrying about it, therefore trying to gain more and more control by not eating.

This just isn't working. What ever will?