Oh, Hortaux, I'm so sorry that things are so bad for you right now!!

First of all, I recognize a LOT of myself in your post. I'm just beginning to recover from depression, but I have always, ALWAYS hated being corrected. When the depression was at its worst, I was convinced every time someone corrected me that I was stupid, that they thought I was a complete idiot, that I could never get anything right and that I was doomed to fail at everything I attempted. I felt worthless and sure that people only humoured my presence in their lives, but never really cared what I thought. Now I'm beginning to see that the depression tells us lies. Mistakes happen. Everyone makes them and anyone who pretends otherwise is just too insecure to admit to their own humanity. You are not stupid or worthless or a failure.

Do you mind if I ask whether you're on any meds, or have you seen a doctor about how you're feeling? You don't have to tell your family anything you don't want to. I didn't tell my dad about my depression or the medications I was taking for it, because I didn't think he would understand, and it was my call to make. This is your life. This is your body. This is your health. As long as you're taking it seriously, it's nobody else's business if you need to get help. If you can't get help right now, what about calling your local crisis line? You can talk to someone confidentially who might be able to help you sort things out. The other thing you might be able to try is a school counsellor. It's their job to listen to students, in total confidence, and they would be more than willing to help. It can be scary to reach out to someone, especially if your own family isn't being all that supportive, but you can get through this.

Please try to be kind to yourself. I know that things are rough right now, but they can get better. Remember that the colleges who accepted you would never have accepted you if they didn't really want you. Remember that your friends would not be friends with you if they did not value your presence in their lives. I know it seems hopeless, I know it seems like there's nobody on your side and that the whole world is against you some days. But you are not alone. There are people who can help you with this. I'm so glad you found PC, it's a great start. There are tons of people here who can help support you through this, and who know exactly where you're coming from. You can feel free to PM me anytime as well, I'm always willing to listen.

Take care. You can get through this.