If you suffer from depression, then it's no wonder. First thing to do is get it under control. There's no reason why you can't live a full life and do anything you set your mind to doing.
Sounds like you already have a lot of self-esteem! You know you can achieve great things.

It's your energy and mental illness that is holding you down right now. There IS hope! Don't give up!
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.