((((everyone))))

I am so glad this board was created

I have been having some of the most insane dreams these past couple of weeks. I don't remember all of the specifics about them in two of them, I am screaming at my mother for not taking care of me the way she should have and for being so wrapped up in her own world and her relationship with God, which I don't have a problem with, but she cared more about that than she did her children. she didn't see how miserable I was. I told her I heard the conversation she had with my father and twin about how she really didn't like me (long story, but I heard them talking about me when I was 16 and i found out--curiosity killed that cat-- that no one in my family liked me). I was screaming at her and telling her she thinks she knows who I am, but she really doesnt. She thinks we have this OK relationship, when I really do not like her very much, I am just good at faking it.

I had another one last night where I was screaming at my sister who is 12 years older than me for torturing me when I was 6 (or younger). She used to pin me to the floor and trap me and/or tickle me and I hated it. In the dream I told her she was a horrible person for picking on someone too small to defend herself and that she is probably one of the reasons why I have so much anxiety now. And in the dream I yelled at my mom for not making her stop.

It's so weird, because in these dreams I could literally feel the anger and almost hear the screaming as if it were happening right in the room I was presently sleeping in. I am assuming that these are things I probably need to get off my chest in real life, but I can't.

I don't know. I just wanted to share these two dreams. I don't really want a reply. Thanks for reading